*ssiiigggghhhhhh*
Can you feel that?
The weight... Its gone.
Do you feel it?
That, ladies and gentlemen, is the universal feeling of your busiest week before the end of the school year coming to an end. And for me, that week was last week. This weekend has been one of recuperation and refreshment.
But break time is over!!!! We are now entering official Exchange Preparation Time!!!!!
*insert intense intro music here*
Last Friday, all of the students at Glendon who are going on exchange got together for a meeting to sign some paperwork, to learn about financing, scholarships, things to do before leaving (read: Visa!!!!!!) and what to do about classes and credits. It was a very important meeting.
The coolest part of it was that we got to see everyone else who would be on exchange next year! A few of my friends are going - not to Netherlands, but Europe in general - which is amazing! It will be nice to be able to see a friendly face for a vacation on a weekend or something.
I've already been meeting with profs, verifying my classes and everything, now that I've officially been accepted by UCR and need to fill out paperwork and get it back ASAP. And this meeting made things feel real. Not REALLY real, but realer than its been since this process first began.
Everyone says that feeling hits at a different time. My one friend has been saying that shes been extremely excited, and its felt like reality to her ever since she got accepted. Another one of my friends who has already been on exchange said he didn't feel like it was actually happening until he landed in Europe.
That take-my-breath-away-oh-my-god-what-is-happening feeling hasn't hit me yet. And I honestly don't know when it will.
Part of me hopes it happens before I get to Europe. I'd rather feel prepared so I don't hyperventilate in a European airport. Plus, the less tears I shed at the airport when saying goodbye to my family,the better, I think. For both them and myself.
The "realness" feeling of this trip and the trip itself are both two things I can feel myself preparing for. The difference is, is that I know that on August 18th, 2014, I'll be at URC. This feeling I keep talking about, on the other hand, may hit a few weeks after I've been there. It could be September, in the middle of the night, and I could be laying in my bed when BAM!!!!! Heart beats fast, breathing quickens, and the "What am I doing?!" thoughts come racing. I'll lay there, repeating to myself "This is Europe. I'm in Europe. Holy crap I'm in EUROPE!" until my brain starts to wrap itself around my reality.
But even as I write this, I start second guessing myself. Will that feeling ever really come to pass? And is it necessarily a bad thing? Say I'm walking down the street one day, and i see a group of Dutch people on bikes, and BAM!!! Feeling. And then a few weeks later, I'm on a train visiting, say... Belgium. and BAM!!!! Feeling.
Maybe that realization that your life really is in fact YOUR LIFE happens to keep us grounded. In new situations, the Universe just KNOWS you need your breath stolen in a moment to make you realize just how lucking you are, how special that moment is.
Maybe I should stop worrying about when the feeling will hit, and what tears I'll cry, and start prepping myself to embrace those feelings, and if I start crying when I'm standing in front of the Eiffel Tower, to remember to turn my face to the sky and to FEEL THOSE TEARS! Because, baby, I'll be in Europe. Coming home, those feelings are what I'll hold on to as memories of the next year of my life, and I want to remember them right down to the very detail.
Good thing I'm coming to these realizations now! After all, I'll be there soon.
-Jennifer